The NCLEX exam (National Council Licensure Examination for those not of the nursing persuasion) is looming large in my future, and I'm not so sure how I feel about it.
Actually, when I think about it, I'm quite sure how I feel about it.
Imagine two neighborhood yards, separated by a pretty fence (but please don't imagine a picket fence, because I will be sitting on this fence).
In one yard is a neatly manicured lawn, and beautifully, imaginatively arranged landscaping. Scattered about are colorful perennials and annuals, carefully selected in order to assure a lovely display of color throughout the changing seasons. Although the owner of this yard possesses no professional gardening background, nor extraordinary talent, there is an abounding interest in nature and beauty, and self-confidence in experimentation. This person knows that hard work is sometimes involved, yet perseveres. The result is a yard that yields the fruits of diligent labor, motivation, and creativity.
On the other side of this imaginary fence is a backyard that tells a slightly different story. Although the grass is cut, the lines are not quite as even, and long pieces of grass jut out stubbornly here and there along the wavy lines. It appears as though the lawn was cut in a haphazard, hurried fashion, and by just looking one can practically imagine the person running behind the lawn mower, anxious to just have the unpleasant task completed. The owner of this back yard doesn't possess the risk-taking, self-confidence of the next-door neighbor, and as such there is minimal landscaping, which is a stretch at best. A boulder here and there, a sad little green shrub, and thirsty annuals that should have been planted in shade but instead wilt under the unrelenting sun.
An interesting, if not overly lengthy metaphor. But what about the author still perched on the fence?
Oh yes. That would be me. Immediately after graduation, I landed in the prettier yard, full of confidence, ready to take that exam. As the days passed, and the holidays were in full swing, I focused less on nursing and more on family. I hopped on that fence, eager to put the nursing school days behind me. That was the point, as a break was sorely needed. But as the old saying goes, if you don't use it, you lose it. So now, I find myself occasionally on the other side of the fence, in the yard where the colors are sorely lacking and confidence is wilting. With distance comes a lack of confidence.
Yesterday, I met two friends for lunch. They are graduate nurses as well, but possess something I still lack; two little letters following their name.
R.N.
Registered Nurse. I find it rather ironic those letters could also stand for Real Nurse, because until I earn my license, I don't feel as though I'm "real". As my son would say, I feel like a "poser". We enjoyed great conversation, and I picked their brains about the NCLEX experience. They offered welcome advice and stories of their experiences. These friends not only treated me to a delicious lunch, they also brought all of their NCLEX study materials to pass on to me. Several books, drug cards and study CDs, enough for a month-long "feast", as I prepare for the holy grail of nursing exams.
When I walked into that restaurant, I'm sorry to report that I was in that sad little backyard. But by the time we exchanged our hugs and goodbyes, I had hopped over that fence, eager to start digging, planting, watering and growing.
However, with so much studying ahead, something tells me I haven't seen the last of that fence....
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